A hard day

Today has been hard. It has been one of those days where nothing seems to have gone right. Each individual thing by itself wouldn’t have been too bad but when they all combined I found myself struggling.

This morning I felt a migraine starting. For years I have suffered on and off with headaches and while I don’t get them very often any more, when I do they can be terrible. So I took some Migraleve and sat down for a few minutes while the kids played upstairs.

I thought they were playing with the Lego and I could hear noise so I didn’t go and check on them as usually noise indicates playing and it is silence you have to worry about! After about half an hour I went to tell them I was starting lunch and was completely shocked at what I found. Every single book from the shelves was on the floor, along with Lego, cars and every other toy that lives in the bedroom. Now, I don’t mind a bit of mess and am quite used to several boxes of toys being emptied out and strewn around the house, but the fact that they had thrown all the books on the floor as well really did disappoint and upset me. I was actually lost for words and it took me a few seconds to take it all in!

Initially I told the kids that they would have to tidy it up after Forest School but when I had got them all downstairs and gone back to have a proper look I got so cross that I took every book and toy that was on the floor and removed it from the room. I then told the kids that they wouldn’t be getting any of their things back for at least 2 days and then they had to earn it back with good behaviour and good listening. I have no idea how to actually implement this and, to be honest, we have nowhere to store the books while they are earning them back so really I imagine they’ll be back in the kids room much sooner than I would like! But hopefully even two or three days with no bedtime story will get the message across.

I think they realised how cross and upset I was because when it was time to get ready for Forest School they managed it in record time, with no nagging and repeated instructions from me at all! The journey there was quite quiet too, which was much needed and did help me calm down a little.

Whilst Thomas and Jasmine were at Forest School, Ben and I went to Richmond Park as usual. Ben wanted to go and see the rabbits again so we bought a cake from the refreshment stand and went to find the big tree and watch the rabbits with our snack. It was lovely and was the best part of the day by far.

After picking Thomas and Jasmine up from Forest School we drove home and again the car was really quiet, so I was hopeful for an improvement in the day once we got home.

Things always happen in 3’s though don’t they!

Earlier in the day I had sent a payment for an activity day we had booked in to and confirmed it had been sent. Unfortunately it seems the payment needed to be seen in the receiving bank account today and my bank doesn’t send payments quick enough, so despite me confirming I had sent the money, when we got back home I had a message to say our places had been given to someone else because I may not in fact have sent the money. First I got cross because I had indeed sent the money, but when I thought about it rationally and remembered that actually some people might not be so honest, I was just really disappointed because we had been so looking forward to taking part.

On a normal day I probably wouldn’t have let the disappointment get to me quite so much but today this was the final straw.

So when Thomas growled at me during dinner because I asked for him to sit down and eat with his fork not his fingers, I shouted. And when he moaned later on because he couldn’t find his pyjamas, I shouted. And when Ben got into a paddy because he couldn’t find the right toy to take to bed, I shouted.

I am only human and sometimes I have quite simply had enough. Today, at the end of a hard day, at the end of a hard week, I had had enough.

But then something lovely happened. I posted on facebook, asking for advice on a certain child’s behaviour and some lovely people replied.

And another lovely friend made another wonderful offer on twitter.

And friends and family sent me messages asking if I was OK, and reminded me that sometimes it is OK to have a bad day.

Because tomorrow is a new day. And tomorrow will be better.

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3 thoughts on “A hard day

  1. claire lee says:

    Hi Jo, i know we spoke yesterday but i just want to send you a hug after reading this.
    i really hope today was a little better.
    what your kids did was just….kids. sometimes kids are naughty. i hope you can look back over your previous post and see just how well behaved your kids really are (a credit to your hard work!) it’s understandable if they went a little wild. my kids are generally good too, and thank god it’s that way, some kids i see i think “so glad they are not mine” !!!

    i’m intrigued to know how you resolved the mess , which you removed? judging by their following quietness i guess your reaction worked pretty well at giving them the message that was not acceptable. and i would also bet that they already knew that at the time, but “self control” hasn’t really kicked in yet. being naughty on purpose is fun! even knowing there will be a price to pay 🙂

    i wish i lived nearer, i’d take you out for a j20 and we could chat and laugh about our little darlings and their exploits! let off some steam. but internet will have to do for now!

    deep breath and n with tomorrow

    Claire x

    • Thanks Claire. I took all the books and toys out of their room and told them they would get it back gradually, by doing nice things and good listening. I have told them so many times that if they want nice things, they have to treat them nicely. If they can’t treat things nicely, then they can’t have them. With 3 small kids you know what its like.. some toys don’t even last an hour before they are broken! Treating things with respect is quite an important lesson 😉

  2. claire lee says:

    that should say previous POSTS not post!

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